I am sure many of you have seen this news floating around, but it is so good, that we are posting it again.
When the DOF said we were going to have 4 senior mens teams in 2019, I secretly thought “great, I’ll be in the fourth team with all the dregs”. Things seemed a lot more promising when Damo the two-footed Irishman put his hand up for the coaching gig. Then he handed me a beer at half-time of our first match together and I realised that I actually enjoy being one of the dregs.
His first real coaching test came when we fronted up at Croydon to play our Achilles from the previous season. Half of Damo’s workmates had joined the team during the pre-season, and new ones were still stumbling onto the bench just before kick-off. With our new captain turned full-back Juzzy at the helm and King Craig debutante next to him, we got thumped 5-2. I am pretty sure our recruited striker Kenya, kicked about 10 in the warm up matches. He was as potent as nerf gun during that first round. It was not a good start.
11 games later, and we have piled on 60 goals against our opponents and have not dropped another point. Our wicket-keeper Wozza along with the one-bicep President conceded only another 12 goals. Kenya came good in the end, although he thinks a brush of the afro counts as a deflection. Mark “I’ve hung up my boots” Woodsy showed there is still some class in those old boots and even goalless Dev managed to accidentally score. Some guy named Steve, who arrived in the boot of an Uber, sort of looked like he could play in the end. I can’t mention everyone, but we are all champions. Schoolboys, geriatrics, drunks, lame ducks, Learnz… but all champions.
So, with a few rounds to go, we are in such a dominant position that we have claimed the league with 5-0 finish at the bone-jarring synthetic school. The first Somerville Eagles Soccer Team in our long esteemed history to win a premiership flag. We will hang it with pride in our shanty and leave a place for our number one senior team to pop their number two flag next to it.
We are the champions and we are staying for more than one. Congratulations boys.